What do I mean about taking action from the feminine?

The thing is, many women (and men, I acknowledge—I simply focus on women) are disempowered because they are really good at taking action (the masculine energy) but from a place of people pleasing, fitting in, conforming (a disempowered space), fixing themselves, rather than from the space of the feminine (heeding their inner voice, their truest desires, listening in to their true calling, their highest vision). When we take action from the feminine, it’s like a dance of inspired action. We listen in, take note, meditate, silence ourselves FIRST and tune in deeply to what we TRULY want, need, and desire, and then act from there. When we face challenges on our journey, we do the same, we listen in, tune in, and respond from there, rather than using the sheer brute strength or force of the masculine.


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For example, our world has been living in a paradigm for so long in which all is reaction: the lawsuits and legal culture of the USA, the jails are so full, etc. Rather than take the time to listen in and follow our highest truth and vision, we tend to go for the “fast food”, the easy solution, the achievement; rather than taking it all in for a moment and being receptive, which might bring about some change in how we are doing stuff, for example, with the global warming and the planet, we choose to go on with business as usual, not disrupting our comfort zone.

The problem with action that is uninspired, action that is from the masculine, is that we end up dissatisfied. We can never be satisfied for long when we are white knuckling it or trudging through something.

My graduation from Columbia University, NYC, 2000. I graduate Cum Laude.

My graduation from Columbia University, NYC, 2000. I graduate Cum Laude.

I remember when I used to go to law school. It felt so satisfying to know I could “beat” someone with my words. Thankfully, I was one of the ones who was fighting for the “good guy”. I was studying to be a Human Rights Lawyer. But, honestly, I was not paying attention to my body (for a whole other article on embodiment and how that’s related, follow this LINK coming soon, and get on my e-mail list to find out about it here)—I drank too much, smoked too much, stayed up late too much, did not exercise enough, etc. I was disconnected, maybe even disassociated. I was trying to people please (namely my father and family) those who wanted me to be a lawyer and to have much monetary/financial success like that.

I was not taught or trained to listen to myself, my intuition, my body, and my emotions as clues. I had to unlearn everything I had been shown, and how to tune into myself. It was a whole process of unraveling. First, I did follow my intuition one day when I knew that it was Mother’s Day and I needed to treat myself to something so that I would not feel bad, given that my mother and I were estranged. That day I was introduced to the sensorial experimentation center, Sensorama, which became a key part of my learning to tune back into myself. I experienced the sensorial trip that day and knew I had to become a sensorial guide there. I was there, working, studying, creating community, for years. I learned about facilitating sensorial experiences for other people. I learned about sweatlodges, ceremonies, and rituals. I learned about honoring each and every sensation, every breath, every flavor, every interaction with another. Too many things did I learn here to count. I also met incredible, life-long friends there.

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Then, after some time there, I quit law school. I started following my intuition at rapid speeds. I began a meditation practice and even went on a retreat with Thich Naht Hahn in his residence Plum Village in France. I studied different forms of meditation, metaphysics, Swedish massage, got certified in Reiki, and, eventually, even began offering my services as a healer. It was at this time that I was really introduced to the Mayan Calendar, and what happened with it was exponential. I was fascinated; soon, I was one of the “go-to” people for it. I translated one Mayan Calendar agenda for the English version and even was on TV doing a reading. I facilitated workshops in sensorial experiences as well as the Mayan Calendar. Eventually, I became a certified yoga teacher, and combined my love for dance with somatic awareness, for embodied, free dance “Body Labs”. I had zillions of adventures, hitchhiked Mexico, lived in the Caribbean 2 years, came across some land I own there, and, to this day, wouldn’t trade this experience for the world. All because I quit doing what was EXPECTED from me and let myself go and trust the world, my sense, my intuition, my love and passion for things, people, and the world.

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Columbia University, NYC, Graduation, 2000.

My life, of course, took a huge turn after that. It was never the same again. Instead, I got really into studying the feminine. I studied, worked in, and even lived in, some of the most progressive centers of embodied femininity in the world at the time. I studied “Women’ Spirituality” with Vicki Noble, Judy Grahn, Deborah Grenn, Luisah Teish. I then lived and worked at Shakti Rising, a gender-specific, trauma-informed non-profit for feminine leadership that has been around for about 15 years.

Me, c. 2006, fire dancing in Tulum, Mexico.

Me, c. 2006, fire dancing in Tulum, Mexico.

Anyways, the point is that action from the feminine feels risky and thrilling because it is BASED on the feminine—inspiration which is to our scientific mind, uncertain—which means there are no guarantees. It’s about TRUSTING. Taking a risk. Adventure. Which IS WHAT MAKES IT SO FREAKING SATISFYING AND FANTASTIC. It’s kind of like LIFE itself—there are no guarantees. But, you kind of get what you put into it—much like with land and seeds: if you water the seeds, give them sunlight, and do a little bit of trial and error, you’re bound to get some fruit. Okay, well, there could be a drought, or a tornado or some other natural disaster. And, that’s where, well, you go back to the feminine principle, quiet down, listen in, feel the emotions, and when it’s time, back to the action board.

It’s a true conundrum: what most people want and sell are guarantees (money back guarantee, etc). YET, guarantees are boring. People want the experience of being ALIVE, which is with no guarantees. Life is a GIFT, a PRIVILEGE. And when we approach it so, listen in, and accept it on its own terms, it becomes ever so much more rewarding.

I believe that it can be difficult for some women to start acting from the feminine because while we are putting the needs and the desires of others still before us, we can still hide behind a mask of the “Good Girl” and avoid facing the consequences of our own desires and needs, and thus of the underlying core belief that perhaps we are unworthy of simply having our desires met. We somehow feel safe if we go after “second-best” rather than going for the thing that we want so bad and yet, are not sure if we deserve or if we trust ourselves to achieve it.

As long as we are acting in a way that is not aligned with our desires, we are either people pleasing, compromising on our vision, or succumbing to & supporting the belief that we are unworthy of our own desires.

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Last but not least, when we begin to act in favor of our desires and really put action and works behind our vision, we experience the tension of opposites—the paradox of holding both poles of experience. In other words, the more we act from an inspired place, from the feminine, we see how much sweat our visions take. We see that living as a “free spirit”, in alignment with our truth, takes discipline, routine, schedules, repetition, resiliency, strength. SO, our inner feminine needs her masculine match (see “The Inner Marriage”, and “The Importance of the Masculine Principle”).
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If you’ve enjoyed this Blog Article, you may enjoy the Webinar I am putting on Friday, April 8th (FREE) on “Sacred Living: The Maya & Other Ancient Wisdom to Apply”. Register here to get on the call or the recording.
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Also, to read more blog articles I have written on the Feminine & Masculine, check out:
The Feminine & Masculine
The Distinction between Feminine & Masculine Power
The Importance of the Masculine Principle
The Inner Marriage