One of the shadows of the women’s empowerment & women in business and/or coaching world is that they are OFTEN still operating in a masculine model.
What does that even mean?
That means that, rather than truly empowering women to acknowledge the wisdom within themselves and to find the answers, solutions, wisdom that they inherently have within, many coaches are out positioning themselves as EXPERTS that have ALL of the answers. Answer that YOU will HAVE TO PAY to get.
The Truth is, just like the old maxim of “Give a man fish, feed him for a day, teach him how to fish, feed him for a lifetime,” true empowerment lies in giving women the confidence and the tools necessary to look within and tap into the universal power and truth that lies within each of us, no matter what we’ve been through or who we are. So, one aspect of empowerment is TAKING OUR POWER BACK from all of those EXTERNAL sources of validation, information, etc. etc. that we are constantly subscribing to. One very powerful example I have often used with clients has commonly been the doctor (or the politician). We have (very likely) been conditioned to go to the doctor and expect to be told what is “wrong” with us and how to fix it, in sum. To be empowered is to PARTICIPATE (so, yes, it can be “inconvenient”, so to speak). To be empowered means to know that NO ONE has ALL of the answers for you, you can’t just lay back and be a quiet accomplice.. That might be very COMFY at times, but it’s not the empowered way. Empowerment means asking questions, checking in with yourself, and participating in the answer. What are the possibilities? Are there alternatives? What are the pros? the cons? In all areas of life.
One more nuance to this is that SISTERHOOD and the FEMININE PATH is about WOMEN SHARING POWER. I reference famous feminist & scholar, Vicki Noble, and her book, “The Double Goddess: Women Sharing Power,” in which she echoes something Marija Gimbutas, Lithuanian-American archeologist known for her widely accepted Kurgan hypothesis, asserted in her “The Living Goddesses.” That is that matriarchal pre-Indo-European societies existed across Lithuania and Europe in which women ruled, and the way they did is that they were sharing power—in sisterhood—and truly looking always toward the benefit of the common good. In contrast with today’s mainstream, in which when women make it, women are having to fit into the masculine, patriarchal, individualistic model, for power to truly function for everyone, it must be shared. It’s interesting to note that in the recent elections, the female candidate, Hillary Clinton was known for her “Stronger together,” whereas Donald Trump, with his insults towards minorities and women couldn’t be a better image for the individualistic, capitalist patriarchal paradigm.
As we shift into FEMININE thinking, we are also finding ways to be COOPERATIVE rather than COMPETITIVE… to share, to be interdependent, collaborate, to ask for help, to be vulnerable, authentic, and allow each individual’s gifts to shine in the collage that is our global tapestry.
This is why one of the MAIN emphases of the work I do is on collaboration. In my Motherhood Empowerment Program, we do group calls and a private, secret Facebook group, in which listening to the WHOLE circle is CRUCIAL. My over 10+ years of working with women and the feminine path helps me to be a FACILITATOR, to keep the conversation returning to the depth, the meaning, allowing safety and compassion to be our guide, and everyone who wants to share, to be able to feel safe and comfortable to do so. Yet, there is SO much wisdom to be gained from the circle, that in spite of having a MA in Counseling Psychology and doing SO much successful work with women individual clients, I also find it invaluable to have the group work experience. It is CRUCIAL for us women to serve as mirrors, reflections, to hear ourselves in another, to truly SEE ourselves for who we are, the “good” and the “bad”. It helps us to contextualize ourselves, find meaning in our lives, and to also recognize the viscissitudes or archetypes of life that we all share in common and will go through, as well as hear different points of view and perspectives for how to face these and effectively handle them. If we do not see or hear ourselves reflected in one woman or her particular story, it’s a given that we WILL hear ourselves in another woman in the circle. That is why it IS vital, to come together and circle and PRACTICE (yes, I said practice, because we have all had tough situations in life where we’ve been shamed at some point for sharing our truth) SPEAKING from the heart, our truth, and BEING SEEN in that. This is VITAL.
If you are not yet signed up, you need to be, for this fun, live, and FREE event: “Coffee Talk with Tanya Dantus”. This week the topic will be on this very one, Sisterhood, and all of the themes as mentioned above. To register, follow this link, where you will receive the Zoom call-in details (be sure to make sure you’ve downloaded well before the call, as I want to make sure you make it). I will be making a VERY special announcement on this particular “Coffee Talk” (and NO, it’s not a pitch for any paid program!!). You’ll want to be there. Here it is again in case you missed it.
If you are not already registered, I invite you to form a part of the LAST Motherhood Empowerment Lounge I will be offering LIVE. We start December 8th. Join us: www.tanydantus.com/mep3