Often times this really stems from our own mothering wounds. Often when we have not had our own mothering needs met… Think about it—if you are a child and you have a parent that is not paying as much attention as you wish they would, it is very probable that you will develop a people pleasing aspect so that you can win that parent’s praise & approval. Make sense? So that you can get that love and praise that you’re really craving and that you really deserve for just being a beautiful child without needing to overgive or people please!
So-how is this relevant for when we become moms or adults?? We often can have this archetype of the Nurturer, that woman that gets called a “mother” even when she is not a mother, who has that tendency to give that extra mile or to overstep or surpass her own limits and boundaries and say “yes” when she really means “no,” to overgive and underchange, to have difficulty asking for her own needs, because she has either been a parentified child and she has had to take care of her own caregivers when it was really not her job to, or she has spent a lifetime people pleasing to earn the praise that she should have gotten from her parents regardless of her accomplishments, just for being this beautiful being that she is.
I am running an UN-Challenge in my Feminine & Motherhood Empowerment Lounge, dealing with these issues, when we have that tendency to overgive and neglect our own self-care needs, and surpass our own boundaries rather than give from a cup that is overfull. I you are interested, join the Lounge… the un-challenge will take place there.
Also, if you’re ready to step up in your experience of life, take action on your own behalf, recognizing that when you lean into “selfishness” you’re actually benefiting yourself AND your children, please sign up for a free, no-obligation, 15-minute Motherhood Empowerment Assessment with Tanya here.