ABOUT THE BOOK:
You don’t struggle with boundaries because you’re weak or selfish. You struggle because your nervous system learned that saying no wasn’t safe.
The Power of No is a trauma-informed, body-based guide for women who are exhausted from people-pleasing, over-functioning, and abandoning themselves in relationships. This isn’t another book telling you to “just set boundaries” or “choose yourself.” This is about understanding why your body won’t let you – and how to rewire it from the inside out.
Drawing on 16+ years of working with women in trauma therapy and coaching, this book introduces the RIFRA Method – a five-step framework that helps you understand where your pattern comes from, feel what’s been suppressed, and take empowered action that actually sticks. Combining personal stories, neuroscience, somatic practices, and a feminist lens, The Power of No addresses not just how to set boundaries, but why women struggle with them in the first place.
You’re not broken. The system is. And it’s time to reclaim your voice.
PRAISE FOR THE BOOK:
“This book is a powerful, heart-centered guide for women who want to move beyond people-pleasing and claim their own inner authority, genuine self-expression, and valuable contributions. Grounded in trauma-informed, somatic, and relational perspectives, Tanya’s integrative approach offers clinicians, educators, and readers alike a clear, practical pathway from dissociation and self-abandonment to healthy boundaries, deeper self-trust, and a life shaped by a wholehearted ‘Yes!’”
— Tina Stromsted, Ph.D., LMFT, SEP, Jungian Analyst, Somatic/Dance-Movement Therapist, International Educator, and Author of Soul’s Body
“Oh my goddess, this feels like the book we ALL need right now. The Power of No isn’t some neat and tidy self-help book—it’s an initiation. With raw honesty and grounded wisdom, Tanya Dantus lays out a pathway to unbind us from the deep conditioning that taught women to abandon themselves in the first place.”
—Nicola Humber, Founder of The Unbound Press & Author of Unbound
“If you are looking for a real pathway to finally put yourself first, make your needs matter…and stop tolerating unnecessary B.S. from others, this is the book! Tanya shares her wisdom and a step-by-step roadmap in a down-to-earth, easy to read format that inspires and will lead you to action. It’s required reading to empower ourselves to stop the patterns of people pleasing, and truly remember our self-worth.”
—Joanna Lindenbaum, Applied Depth Institute
“What a wonder this piece of work by Tanya Dantus is. I am beyond excited for your healing journey with Tanya and her RIFRA method. She ties in so many layers of the human (and beyond) experience into the simple ‘why can’t we say no’ universal question. Brava Tanya!”
—Jenny C. Cohen, BCNSP, author of Outside In Recovery: Dancing my way back to My Self after breast cancer, top 10% globally ranked Dance To Heal Podcast
WHAT YOU’LL LEARN:
Inside this book, you’ll discover:
- Why your body learned that saying no wasn’t safe – and how to rewire it at the nervous system level
- The historical, cultural, and family roots of your people-pleasing pattern (so you can finally stop blaming yourself)
- How to feel anger, fear, guilt, and shame without being hijacked by them
- The true cost of saying “yes” when you mean “no” – in time, money, energy, relationships, and dreams
- Body-based practices to rebuild self-trust after years of self-abandonment
- How to say no in a way that feels grounded, clear, and aligned with your truth
- How to create space for your authentic YES – the life, work, and relationships you actually want
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Tanya Dantus, LMFT, is a licensed therapist, Somatic Experiencing Practitioner, and recovering people-pleaser who knows exactly what it’s like to lose yourself trying to keep everyone else comfortable. After years of her own healing journey – from Columbia University to a Zen monastery to grad school as a new mom to therapist at The Meadows trauma treatment center – she now helps women break free from codependency, reclaim their boundaries, and reconnect with their bodies and voices.
Tanya has spent over 16 years guiding hundreds of women through the messy, transformative work of putting themselves first. When she’s not in session or writing, you can find her dancing, hiking, or raising her teenage son to be the kind of man who respects a woman’s “no.” The Power of No is her first book.
Kindle available now; paperback releasing March 1
Audiobook coming soon
Bulk Orders: Purchasing 10+ copies for your organization or book club? Contact me for bulk discounts.
COMPANION WORKBOOK (COMING SOON):
Ready to apply the RIFRA Method to your own life? The Power of No Companion Workbook will include:
- Guided exercises for each step of the RIFRA Method
- Self-assessment tools to understand your patterns
- Reflection prompts and journaling space
- Boundary scripts and action plans
FREE DOWNLOAD: RIFRA METHOD QUICK START GUIDE (COMING SOON):
Not sure where to begin? Get your free guide with:
- A quick assessment of your people-pleasing patterns
- 3 simple practices to start saying no today
- Boundary scripts for common situations
FOR BOOK CLUBS & READING GROUPS:
Reading The Power of No with your book club?
I’d love to support your discussion! Available resources:
✓ Free discussion guide (coming soon)
✓ Virtual author Q&A – I offer complimentary 30-minute Zoom sessions for book clubs and reading groups of 10+
✓ Bulk order discounts – Special pricing available for group purchases
MEDIA & SPEAKING:
Interested in having Tanya speak at your event, conference, or podcast?
Topics include:
- The neuroscience of people-pleasing
- Why women struggle with boundaries (and how to change it)
- The RIFRA Method for reclaiming your voice
- Somatic approaches to codependency and trauma
Media Kit: Download here
READY TO GO DEEPER?
This book is just the beginning.